what the hell am i supposed to write here???

Dear diary

Today I awoke to the sound of cows mooing putting me in rather an awful mood. I disentangled myself from my bed of feral kittens before masterfully arranging my hair on top of my head and vainly checking the fridge for fanta.

Mortal life is harder than anticipated and I wish no more part in it.

All I long for is to return to my former glory when mortals respected ancient goddesses and the world made sense.